Train of thought
If you want an example of how not to write plain English, then it’s always worth taking a train. This week, my exciting life as a busy editor took me as far as my local station, where I very much enjoyed reading a notice from Network Rail about the temporary closure of my booking hall.
Of course, at first it wasn’t clear who the notice was from. The way it was written suggested that the major improvements that are planned for the station are all the work of some mysterious force.
Although it did say that the existing, “life expired” bridge was “to be replaced by Network Rail”, there were only three active verbs in the whole thing. So I assumed initially that it was “the new bridge” and “the work” that had got together and decided to close the booking hall. It was only later, I wondered whether the “Dry Cleaners” had been in cahoots.
Let me explain – for readers in foreign parts – that Network Rail “owns and operates Britain’s rail infrastructure”. Their website says:
“We strive to provide Britain with a safe, reliable and efficient railway fit for the 21st century.”
Some might say that despite the effort of “striving”, Network Rail doesn’t always succeed in that ambition, but of course it’s not for me to judge what makes a railway “safe, reliable and efficient”. I’m just an editor – so it is far beyond my remit to judge whether a train is late or not.
But it is my business to worry about sentences like this:
“The access onto the bridge will be widened to increase the flow of people through the station to avoid the congestion that currently occurs.”
Someone should tell them that widening the bridge will not increase “the flow of people” – even if it allows more people to get through the station. If the people think the trains are unreliable – or they have the option of working from home, or they’re all made redundant because the recession turns out not to be over – then they won’t flow through the station at all. They’ll stay at home and “avoid the congestion that currently occurs”.
All this talk of flowing and congestion first thing in the morning made me think of prunes and I realised that I was quite hungry. Unfortunately, though, the station café has also been closed for the “major improvements”. May be it too will be relocated, like the dry cleaning business that is to make way for the “step free access” and “fully accessible toilet”.
In any case, it’s good to see that money is being ploughed into our transport system. And that the powers that be are clamping down on “ticketless travel”, although I have to say it’s very difficult to buy a ticket when the booking hall is closed.
