Nothing makes me happier than reading stories about the imminent demise of ‘social media networking’, even when they’re published in my least favourite newspaper. But wouldn’t you know… just as everyone else is growing out of this puerile nonsense, the World Economic Forum (who are meeting for their annual shin-dig in Davos this week) are embracing it.
Sitting in a high-rise flat staring at a computer screen, it’s easy to believe there was a time when our language was untainted by attempts to make it ugly and incomprehensible. Perhaps in the early part of the last century – when life was innocent and people had more respect (despite the world wars) – people used plain English and editors led simple and carefree lives.
Every B2B editor is familiar with jargon – it’s one of those things we live with. The buzzwords, the key phrases strung together like the lumps in a length of drool coughed up by a heavy smoker. We live with it, edit it – where possible we delete it. But what was I to do when I came across ‘sewerage undertakers’ this week?
I’ve been using Google Analytics to measure visits to my blog. Every week I discover that new users are checking the site, but are they coming back? Then I found out about this thing called Blogpulse.com which tells you ‘what’s hot and what’s not’ in the blogosphere. I was surprised to see that editorial issues are not hot – positively frigid, don’t even come up in the search facility. › Continue reading
My world this week has been turned upside down by distractions at Westminster. It’s been quite difficult to think of anything else with all this wondering who’s going when and why. And then – having to choose who to represent me at the European Parliament. Such a long list of candidates! Took me ages to read all their leaflets before making my choice. › Continue reading
Life just gets more and more terrifying, doesn’t it? If you thought swine flu and climate change were scary, then gird yourself for the terror of a bank holiday weekend. If you’re planning to leave home, you’d better think again. Statistics show that you’re more than likely to “face delays” as you “brave the chaos”.
Of course, if you’re travelling by train, tannoy announcements apologising and offering pathetic excuses will only add to your misery › Continue reading
Along with worrying about the price of fags and booze, obviously one major concern for all of us on budget day last week was how to protect the UK’s long-term competitiveness. And who better to convey that concern than the management consultant ‘industry’?
Britons are – according to the pollsters this week – more pessimistic about their country’s economy than the people of other ‘leading’ nations. And Stephen Roach, Chairman of Morgan Stanley Asia, has warned of:
“a further destabilising outbreak of asset bubbles”.
Of course I don’t understand these words, but I suspect it means that we’re all going to lose our jobs and homes. That is everyone except my contact in the Employment Service who, in cheerful mood, has sent me a sample of the ‘Jobcentre Plus Lean’ newsletter. › Continue reading
It was only about a week ago that the news was full of foreboding, doom, depression, debate on quantitative easing and pictures of Gordon Brown, frowning like a constipated puppy next to headlines about deficit forecasts. But now we have all been saved (again) apparently – or have we? Could it just be that very few of us – economists included – really understand any of the words being used to describe the present ‘global economic crisis’? › Continue reading
I have been out in cyberspace again, trying to find meanings for some of the expressions I get stuck on.
I wasn’t going to; I was going to give up. Then an old friend emailed me about my blog. She’s an editor too and she confessed that she doesn’t understand the words either. So I’m not the only one, I thought.
The only way to be happy, she advised me, is to “just check the spelling”. May be she’s right, I thought. She seems to be happy. But then I read on – she confessed more. She has worked for E&Y and said:
“I hope you’re not trying to edit something I originally wrote for them!”
I imagined her laughing as she said it, tossing her mane of dark hair. So, I thought. At what price happiness? Have those others got her under some spell, in their power? Has she gone over to the side of conspirators who are secretly laughing at editorial staff everywhere? The ones who invent expressions like ‘improvement levers’ and ‘technology imperative’?
I was at a low ebb. Perhaps I am all alone in this world of corporate speak. And if they’ve got my friend, how long before they get me?
I have to crack their code, understand their ways, know my enemy.
So I started by googling ‘technology imperative’. Many books have been written about this but it would take me some time to read them all.
Then I discovered this webpage, and I understood the words. It was written by some bloke at Aberystwyth University – an academic, but it’s still reasonably clear. It turns out a ‘technology imperative’ is actually a ‘technological imperative’, and it’s about technological developments being inevitable.
I was very excited. So it does mean something after all.