I was obviously disappointed not to see a single dangling modifier in any of the winning entries for the Golden Bull Awards this week. There were some fantastic examples of bad writing, no doubt about it. But even so, I think the much under publicised – except by the Daily Telegraph – awards misfired on National Plain English day by pillorying Lord Mandelson. › Continue reading
The more I try to change my career path, the more I realise that editorial work is probably the best work in the world – despite the lack of reward or general appreciation. This week I did a project management course. The trainer talked about ‘forming, storming, norming and performing‘. This is a technique for managing your team, but somehow it made me think of the police and how they manage demonstrations. › Continue reading
Along with worrying about the price of fags and booze, obviously one major concern for all of us on budget day last week was how to protect the UK’s long-term competitiveness. And who better to convey that concern than the management consultant ‘industry’?
It was only about a week ago that the news was full of foreboding, doom, depression, debate on quantitative easing and pictures of Gordon Brown, frowning like a constipated puppy next to headlines about deficit forecasts. But now we have all been saved (again) apparently – or have we? Could it just be that very few of us – economists included – really understand any of the words being used to describe the present ‘global economic crisis’? › Continue reading
It has been a strenuous week. After writing about Frank Luntz I began to feel paranoid about distorted messages and not being able to understand the words anymore. And now I suspect my colleagues are trying to catch me out. Why else would they ask if I’ve “been sighted of a document”? › Continue reading
Of course I never trusted them after the window incident, but that is just a personal thing, and I hope I’m big enough not to let my personal experiences affect my judgement irrationally.
It’s just that I can’t square it. Either they were wrong, in which case they shouldn’t be teachers. Or they lied, in which case they shouldn’t be entrusted with the welfare of the little children.
There was the stuff about splitting infinitives and their irrational hatred for the word ‘got’. But then they had to tie us in knots with their insistence that writing is boring if you use the same word twice in a sentence.
“Think of a different word to make it more interesting.”
That’s what they said. Of course I never believed them (although I don’t like to boast). Why do people give teachers so much credit for knowing things?
Successive captains of the Starship Enterprise continue to split their infinitives. Surely that’s enough to make people question the wisdom of those who told us not to?
But no, people insist on looking for a different word to “make the sentence more interesting”. And the worst culprits are journalists – sports journalists, and especially in broadcast.
If only they would read this blog and believe me when I say:
“There is no shame in repeating the name of a football team. Why must you call them ‘the visitors’ or worst still, ‘the tourists’?”
They are not tourists, they are paid professionals and they have come to play football not to see the sights. And they are not visiting, not for long. As soon as the match is over they get back on the bus and go home.
Sports come on the radio during the news. They wait until I am running towards the cooker, busy with a pan of over-boiling milk. Or I might be watching television, and just as I step away to make a cup of tea the sports correspondent starts gushing about visitors and tourists in that over excited way they have.
I suspect they have joined the conspirators, the ones who laugh at editors everywhere. I can’t listen any more. I have turned off the radio, unplugged the television.
I sit alone in the dark wondering about the UN. Dare I look for news online? I need to know whether the conspiracy has reached the highest level of international governance. I know they are holding climate talks, so here it is…
The future of our planet is riddled with abbreviations and acronyms.