How to keep your job in a recession
How long do you think the recession will last? Six more months? Fifteen years? Only ten? Or is it impossible to tell because we’ve “never seen anything like it before”? Who knows, but one thing I’m sure of is that there won’t be any work for editorial staff by the end of it. Everyone will be a Globish-speaking publisher or journalist by then.
We have two choices:
- re-skill, up-skill and side-skill
- or convince the world of our worth.
Personally, I’m on a mission to learn as much as possible about marketing and management consulting. The human race may not always need more “strategies, tips and tactics for business success”, but it believes it does and that’s what counts.
And the great thing about the times we live in is that you can now get all those “strategies, tips and tactics for business success” by engaging with the “blogosphere”.
Just look at this site, for example, where you can learn about the “Synergy between Process and Roles in Your Organization”.
‘Synergy’ is one of those words a bit like ‘key’ – if in doubt, use it in a meeting. It is bound to make you look more professional, like someone who ‘works smarter’. It comes from Greek and means ‘working together’, or according to the OED:
“interaction or cooperation of two or more organisations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects”.
That’s why you get lots of managers in meetings who talk about looking for synergies in the team. You might think that if roles are not already supporting the way the work is done, then really the manager’s not up to the job. This is exactly why words like ‘synergy’ come in handy – by sounding vague and a little technical bad managers can make themselves look clever rather than incompetent, and management consultants can justify their fees. That’s how all these types keep their jobs.
So this is part of the second option for staying employed. Use the word ’synergy’ – preferably while interlocking your straightened fingers in an almost praying-like gesture. Use it as much as you can and especially in meetings.
(And of course, when I say “use it”, I mean while speaking, not in writing.)
Other useful words for disguising your ignorance and incompetence include the expression ‘in tandem’. It is not enough to do something at the same time. ‘In tandem’ sounds more technical, as if it were part of ‘process’. And if you want to be recognised as part of the club at work, make sure you describe things as ‘key’ – especially your part of the editorial process.
As a general rule, all the words that you edit out of your average B2B copy are good to use in meetings with the sorts of people who write that copy.
I realise this now, though it’s been a hard lesson to learn – I feel like I’m selling out and that the conspiracy against editorial staff everywhere is defeating me. But fortunately, there are outlets where those that must can vent their spleen. And I felt a lot less alone in the world after reading this forum on journalism.co.uk.
Might as well whinge now, before everyone becomes a Globish-speaking journalist.
