Intelligent client role
I have been getting increasingly depressed about not understanding the words. What with that, and having to work through all that stuff about sewage, last week my life as an editor seemed to be at an all-time low. Then, rushing to meet my Friday deadline, I ran into a nightmare 57-word sentence.
“However, in view of the cross cutting nature of these themes and Government seeing this area as being one where xxxx xxxx should take on a leadership role, consideration does need to be given to the means by which an in house champion for the theme and intelligent client role can be secured on a consistent basis.”
I started to panic and had to call for assistance. Luckily for me I know enough language nerds to get some help in a crisis, but even they – all of them – got stuck at ‘intelligent client role’.
The clock was ticking, my heart racing. Trembling I typed the troublesome words into Google and waited, hoping against all hope that someone, somewhere in the world could tell me what I needed to know.
Thank God for Greater Manchester Waste Disposal Authority!
But the ordeal had taken its toll. So, when it was suggested that perhaps I need to get out more and relax, I decided to try a little day trip to Greenwich Park.
The last of the autumn sunshine threw long shadows across the grass. Children played in the crisp fallen leaves. Squirrels scampered about with nuts in their mouths. All very Disney!
I felt the stress – my constant worries about drainage, deadlines and the conspirators who laugh at editors – lift from my shoulders. The moisture returned to my dry eyes and the RSI released its grip on the backs of my hands.
Liberated, I sauntered over to the park café and joined the lengthy queue of parents with buggies and elderly ladies with walking frames.
Now I am not a people person, but I refused to let the crowds spoil my mood. And I was doing a fair job of convincing myself that the child behind me – who kept ramming his scooter into my foot – was not really bothering me at all. That is, until looking at the list of ice-cream flavours I saw that one was called ‘hokey pokey’.
It’s a long time since I’ve bought ice-cream. I was thrown into a quandary. What if everyone else knows what ‘hokey pokey’ is? What if I’m the only one who doesn’t? Dare I ask or will I make a fool of myself?
Of course there was no need to ask. I could choose another flavour – chocolate, for example, or may be ‘vanilla pod’. But what if ‘hokey pokey’ turned out to be the flavour I really wanted – caramel or toffee, with crushed nuts?
I looked round quickly, thinking I could hear the echoes of mocking laughter and that’s when I fully understood the importance of an ‘intelligent client role’.
And ‘hokey pokey’ turned out to be a delicious creamy toffee flavour. I didn’t ask, I took a gamble. But I think it paid off. I stopped and listened as I licked my ice-cream cone. The mocking laughter was no more.
