Golden bollocks
I was obviously disappointed not to see a single dangling modifier in any of the winning entries for the Golden Bull Awards this week. There were some fantastic examples of bad writing, no doubt about it. But even so, I think the much under publicised – except by the Daily Telegraph – awards misfired on National Plain English day by pillorying Lord Mandelson.
There are many things about Lord Mandelson that I find unsavoury, even sinister. His political career suggests that he is a man of little integrity, and if he ever knocked on my front door I’d quickly put the chain across and draw all the bolts.
But even so, I think this ‘golden bull’ was awarded with the sloppy disregard of a careless metaphor. For those of you who weren’t aware of Plain English Day or the awards, I should tell you now that Mandy won his for saying:
“Perhaps we need not more people looking round more corners, but the same people looking round more corners more thoroughly to avoid the small things detracting from the big things the prime minister is getting right.”
A quick look on theyworkforyou.com reveals that Mandy has said many things that are much more difficult to understand. For example:
“It also has a low-carbon economic area in the north-east of England which leverages low-carbon automotive strengths…”
He’s talking about electric cars by the way. He goes on to talk about being “at the front line of public policy for protecting our enterprise environment”. This must mean protecting business interests – you don’t really need to understand the words to know that.
But oh how the Telegraph gloated as it basked in the glory of its own award reporting on its own ‘clarity and honesty’ as its chief reporter wrote:
“The newspaper won more nominations from the public than any other, before being selected for the award by a panel of judges.”
And what about the plain English Campaign itself? Is it so jargon free? In a brief foray into the world of investigative journalism this week, I checked.
It’s not a great website, but yes, it’s written in plain English.
