Nothing makes me happier than reading stories about the imminent demise of ‘social media networking’, even when they’re published in my least favourite newspaper. But wouldn’t you know… just as everyone else is growing out of this puerile nonsense, the World Economic Forum (who are meeting for their annual shin-dig in Davos this week) are embracing it.
Reading about “high level round table talks” this week left me feeling a touch vertiginous. I began to worry about spinning out of control. The words took on a life of their own, reinventing themselves in my mind. I started to think it was I who coined the natty little word ‘co2ts’. Trouble was I just couldn’t remember how to pronounce it. So I turned to Google.
Where would we be without Google? Answer: China. › Continue reading
Paranoia is not a kind word, and kind words are what I have been seeking for a long time now. I’ve tried to shut out the suspicions that nag. I have even clasped my hands over my ears but that only makes the laughter louder – I mean of course the monstrous guffaws of the conspirators who laugh at editorial staff everywhere. So how satisfying to see one of them unmasked this week at the Chilcot Inquiry into the Iraq war.
Some people may be tired of the snow, but I love it. What better excuse to avoid going into work (apart from dysentery or swine flu)?
Then what irony! This week I’ve been editing content on “rural accessibility solutions”. › Continue reading
I was recently taken to task for putting the word ‘poo’ in a headline. Apparently civil servants don’t step in dog poo – they step in dog ‘waste’ or ‘mess’. The furore over my use of the word ‘poo’ infuriated me, but then again it inspired me to compile a list of some of the sillier headlines and titles I come across in my exciting life as an editor – just to soothe my bitterness a little. › Continue reading
Ever since I came across the Unthank Road in Norwich, I have liked the notion of unthanking people – especially the sort of clients who really have no respect for editorial staff or skills, and who describe plain English as ‘dumbing down’.
› Continue reading
I was delighted to hear David Cameron describe the queen as “half-baked” this week, in a reference to her speech at the state opening of Parliament. Who would have ever expected a Tory leader to insult the monarchy like that? › Continue reading
The sun has begun to set on my time as a public sector B2B editor. I am peering into the dark abyss of unemployment. There’s a lot of ‘restructuring’ going on where I work. Restructuring in this context means paying management consultants a lot of money to advise who to make redundant. But I am undaunted. I shall find a way of editing text – no one can stop me.
Sitting in a high-rise flat staring at a computer screen, it’s easy to believe there was a time when our language was untainted by attempts to make it ugly and incomprehensible. Perhaps in the early part of the last century – when life was innocent and people had more respect (despite the world wars) – people used plain English and editors led simple and carefree lives.
Some of you may be wondering why I haven’t written about the conspiracy recently – that is the one to make a mockery of editors everywhere, to turn language into meaningless noise, to pollute our every moment with confusing messages and meaningless drivel, to litter our lives with the pointless delusion that we exist for a purpose, when in fact we are all drones serving the smug and swanky who think they’ve got the better of us in some way or other.