Aug 7 2009

English standards fall

If you are worried about the state of plain English, or standards of English on the whole – particularly in the English-speaking country where the language originated – you had better not listen to what England’s Schools Minister said this Tuesday on the radio.

On the other hand, if you’re the sort of editor who doesn’t expect to retire for another 20 to 30 years, you may take heart from the fact that one in five of the next generation can’t write extended sentences, use punctuation, read between the lines of a story or understand the moral or message behind it. › Continue reading


Dec 5 2008

Out of my league

Of course I never trusted them after the window incident, but that is just a personal thing, and I hope I’m big enough not to let my personal experiences affect my judgement irrationally.

It’s just that I can’t square it. Either they were wrong, in which case they shouldn’t be teachers. Or they lied, in which case they shouldn’t be entrusted with the welfare of the little children.

There was the stuff about splitting infinitives and their irrational hatred for the word ‘got’. But then they had to tie us in knots with their insistence that writing is boring if you use the same word twice in a sentence.

“Think of a different word to make it more interesting.”

That’s what they said. Of course I never believed them (although I don’t like to boast). Why do people give teachers so much credit for knowing things?

Successive captains of the Starship Enterprise continue to split their infinitives. Surely that’s enough to make people question the wisdom of those who told us not to?

But no, people insist on looking for a different word to “make the sentence more interesting”. And the worst culprits are journalists – sports journalists, and especially in broadcast.

If only they would read this blog and believe me when I say:

“There is no shame in repeating the name of a football team. Why must you call them ‘the visitors’ or worst still, ‘the tourists’?”

They are not tourists, they are paid professionals and they have come to play football not to see the sights. And they are not visiting, not for long. As soon as the match is over they get back on the bus and go home.

Sports come on the radio during the news. They wait until I am running towards the cooker, busy with a pan of over-boiling milk. Or I might be watching television, and just as I step away to make a cup of tea the sports correspondent starts gushing about visitors and tourists in that over excited way they have.

I suspect they have joined the conspirators, the ones who laugh at editors everywhere. I can’t listen any more. I have turned off the radio, unplugged the television.

I sit alone in the dark wondering about the UN. Dare I look for news online? I need to know whether the conspiracy has reached the highest level of international governance. I know they are holding climate talks, so here it is…

The future of our planet is riddled with abbreviations and acronyms.


Oct 20 2008

How our teachers got it wrong

Like most people, I was an impressionable child. And like most people, I believed what my teachers told me.

We’ve all been there, although some of us have probably tried harder to bury the memories. But I’m sure we all remember fighting off sleep in over-heated classrooms, the heating on in summer, the sour milk at break, the windows painted with flowers.

I should have known the teachers were not to be trusted, the way they painted windows with such wild abandon. They said it was all right as long as you used poster paint.

And then they told me to avoid the word got. They said it was an ugly word.

“Listen to it!”

They kept repeating it, exaggerating the guttural sound of got.

Decades later and I know perfectly reasonable, sane people, who are still have issues with the word got. Some of them even work as writers and editors. They argue with me, but I argue back.

“How would the Dutch cope,” I ask them, “if they were taught that guttural words sounded ugly?”

But people don’t listen. They carry on retaining, obtaining, gaining, purveying, earning, garnering, receiving, even mining and harvesting, but never really getting the point.

These people – wonderful people who I respect in so many ways – seem to have been tainted, even ruined by their attentiveness at primary school.

And now some of them work in education. Completing the circle, they tell our children that the word got is ugly. They will go to any length to avoid it, even when trying to aide the involvement of parents in the wellbeing of their children. (They are still too damaged to simply get parents involved.)

I don’t know why I’m different. May be I was just one of the lucky ones – I sat by the radiator and couldn’t stay awake.

And I have my mother to thank even if the lesson was hard to learn. Painting on the sitting room windows may have got me into big trouble, but it taught me to question those teachers.